I seemed to have forgotten to add all of the continuous blessings through all of our struggles in my last blog..BUT, since there are so many, I guess they can just have a blog post of their own!
Starting before Christmas time..the blessings of money were just unreal! We knew that we were not going to be able to buy Christmas presents for the boys this year.. Being on such a tight budget and not having a job lined up, we knew that we needed to cut out some of our expenses. First thing being Christmas presents. We knew that just with our family and the love that surrounded us, that we would be okay without having to buy any new toys that our children didn't even need!
I remember posting a little comment on Facebook about how even though we didn't have a single present under our tree, our love that was in our home would get us through!
That little comment, about how blessed I was to have such an amazing family with so much love and joy, changed everything! Someone very near and dear to me decided to take a step out of her way and ask if her and her husband could buy presents for Ashtyn and Parker this year. We accepted her offer and had never felt more blessed! I could not believe that someone actually wanted to spend some of THEIR hard-earned money for our children, so that they could open presents on Christmas morning!! How amazing is our God!! This couple has blessed us with so much!! And the joy on Christmas morning when our boys got to open presents was almost more than I could handle!! God is so good to us!
This wasn't the only blessing during Christmas time! Not only were people willing to help us with our children's Christmas presents, but people were willing to give so graciously to us in other ways!! We walked into to church the Sunday before Christmas, and were handed an anonymous $250 gift card to Wal-Mart/Sam's Club. Just in time too. Seeing as my list for Sam's club that day was almost a mile long...God knew exactly what we needed. And, He was going to take care of it, when we needed!
These types of things do NOT happen by CHANCE. These things happened to us because we have a loving relationship with the One and Only Jesus Christ! He knew what we needed and when we needed it.
Monetary things were not the only blessings we got around Christmas time! Christmas Eve, we were invited to Jeff and Erin's house for an amazing dinner and family time! These people have taken us in as if we were their family. These people have given so graciously to us and have given us the greatest friendship! After dinner, they sat down to open presents..and Orville and I saw that there was one for us..AND one for Ashtyn. WHY on earth would these people want to give us something like this..we are not even family..and we've only known each other for a little over 2 years! But they did. Gary and Sherry gave us a gift as if I were their 4th daughter..and gave Ashtyn a gift as if he were their very own grandson! These people love us so much! And why..Because of God! Not only were we invited for a Christmas Eve dinner, and given gifts, but also for Christmas morning breakfast! All because of Jesus Christ our Savior!!
The blessings do not end here. After Christmas breakfast, we headed to Celina for our BIG family Christmas. We were so excited to spend time with everyone and enjoy being with most of my sisters! When we got there, to our surprise..my sister Rachel was there. I could NOT believe it.. it was such a surprise!! I hadn't seen her since my wedding, a year and a half prior to that! WOW!! I was completely shocked. I dropped my stuff and gave her the biggest hug ever!! Then I took a step back and just stared in awe that my sister from Arizona was standing in my dad's living room!! HOW AMAZING!! The best part about it was..a few months before Christmas, I was listening to K-Love, a Christian radio station.. and they had this thing going on, and it was called, "Home for the Holidays" They were flying people to see family that they hadn't seen in years, or fiancés that were overseas. I thought to myself, how amazing would it be if my sister Rachel could come home for Christmas?! So as soon as I got home.. I got onto K-Love's website and submitted our entry, so that we could have a chance at seeing Rachel for Christmas! See how God works there?! See how amazing He is?! I didn't win the contest.. but she got home anyway. Think that's a coincidence? NO!! That is the power of God!
Orville, Ashtyn, Parker and I have been so blessed these last few months. Things like this do not happen to many people. We were given so much joy and love. We have been so blessed by so many people! I cannot explain the gratitude I have for everyone who has touched our lives in some way or another! But these people do not do these things for any other reason than because God lives in their hearts..and they know that God is a gracious God, and he never leaves anyone astray!!!
GOD IS SO GOOD!!
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Faith is a powerful thing!
So much time has passed since I have had time to sit down and just think!
Also, so many events have happened during this time.
Where should I start?
Let's take it back to the end of November/beginning of December...
I remember thinking, is Orville going to finish his Master's degree in time? Is he going to find a new job? Are we going to have to move? Do we need to start looking for apartments? Should I start looking for a job? These questions circled in my mind for days! I was hoping that things were all going to work out, and I was praying that they would happen in a timely manner...
BUT, GOD HAD OTHER PLANS!!
I always try and plan out the future, (it's a flaw of mine) so that I can be comfortable and know what is in store for me next. But, God does not want me to plan..He wants me to do what I need to do, today, and then let tomorrow be up to HIM!
Matthew 6:34 "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
I have to try and remember that! Although, it is tempting, and sometimes hard to not worry about tomorrow!
The day before Thanksgiving, was the day that everything started to unfold right in front of me..The day that I had to start trusting more in God, and stop trying to plan everything out step by step!
That night, we were packing our bags, and getting ready for our road trip to Good Ole' Celina for our family Thanksgiving. While I was doing a load of laundry, our washer overflowed, and flooded our apartment. We had to rush out and buy a wet-vac and were up until 2am trying to clean up all of the water! This was definitely not a part of my plan for the weekend. We decided, however, that this little water was not going to ruin our weekend away with family! We headed to Celina the next morning, leaving the fans on for the whole weekend, and enjoyed our time away! When we got back, however, the smell of mildew and mold overwhelmed us as we walked into the apartment. We knew then that we could not sleep there, because it would definitely harm the kids!
That night, we went to a hotel to sleep. We enjoyed that night as if we were on a vacation!! We try and make the best out of every situation!! and it just so happened I was able to do laundry at my dad's house that weekend, so we had clean clothes prepared for church the next day!! (That was a God thing, for sure!)
After we dealt with all of that, our landlord decided he didn't want to help take care of any of the costs for the flood happening..and we couldn't stay there with that smell.. so this is where we prayed for the impossible and took a step of faith!
These next few steps would probably seem CRAZY to some people.
We decided to move closer to church, because that was where we were hoping to find a job for Orville. So we decided, even though he didn't have a job yet, and even though he wasn't finished with him masters degree, that we would take a step of faith and move anyway.
In one day, we found an apartment in Monroe..that weekend, we moved! We just up and moved!! (Sometimes, it's hard to believe myself!) Orville then had to drive back and forth to Wright State to work (and finish his masters) until the end of December. So, we were moving to a place that was over $100 more per month, with the same income, without a new job lined up, and without his degree finished!! Yes, that does sound a bit crazy. But we knew one thing, and one thing only. That God would take care of us, no matter what!! We knew that we would be okay, if we just followed Him and trusted in Him!
So, now we're here, in Monroe, and things are all finally coming together! Orville has finished his Thesis in time and has submitted it!! He will be able to graduate in March! The interviews are a'coming!! And we have faith that God will work everything out in his own time! (He ALWAYS does!!!)
Being unemployed for Orville, is hard..I'm sure. There is always a need, for the husband, to be able to provide for his family! But he also knows that God will provide our food, our shelter, our heat. Orville knows that God will take care of us..always! That is the best part about having a Christian husband, who has such great faith!! I know I don't have to worry, because I never see him worry!! He sets such an amazing example for our children, and for me! Orville is such a great leader for our family!
Me, being a planner, thought that it was time for me to apply for jobs, just in case Orville didn't find one soon. I did, and I actually got a job, but when I went to work, it didn't seem right. My first day there, there were things I was supposed to do, that my fast did not allow. I knew that I was somewhere I shouldn't be, I knew that I needed to be at home with Parker and Ashtyn, so that I could take care of them, and be the housewife that I am supposed to be! Although it seems like a small role, God has called me to be a housewife..(for the time being) and I accept that role, and will do it to glorify Him!
So, after continuing my fasting and praying, God revealed a few things to me. He revealed that I did not need that job. That HE would take care of us until Orville found a job, and that He would continue to provide for all of our needs!
We sit here, together, both unemployed..with out medical insurance, and still continue to have such amazing faith! God has seriously taken our lives out of our hands, and has guided us through everything.
Did I say all of this to complain, or to get attention, NO, I said all of this to prove to YOU that you don't need a plan, or an income to survive. You need God, Jesus Christ, to survive! You need a relationship with him to survive. You need faith to survive. You need HIM!
Through all of this, I have realized so many different things! I have realized that we do not need all of the STUFF that so many people think are necessities. We don't need all of the fancy clothes, new furniture, new purses, TV, or a new house. I need my family, my friends, my church, some type of shelter, some food on the table, and God's love. I need a personal relationship with the One and only God! I need to stay in the Word, and continue to pray. But, not just pray for things that I want, but pray for the things that we need, and then believe that God will provide for those needs!
I believe that God will continue to show us the way.. I believe that God will continue to provide for all of our needs.. I believe that God will continue to help us grow in our faith! Our God is an awesome God! He never fails us!
Philippians 4:6-7 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
You Can't Spell Testimony without 'Test'!
I just got an email that said this:
"My dad always has said "you can't have a testimony without a test". This is your test and what an amazing testimony you have been given!"
I had to stop and think about it for a second, and then I thought, WOW! How amazing! God has been putting me through these tests to give me a great testimony, so that He can speak through me and encourage other people. How great of a gift to have been given!
Some days are harder than others. Some days, I just want to tune out the world around me and do what makes me happy, but then I think, "Is this what God wants me to do? Take a leisurely road to heaven?" DOUBT IT!! God has way more in store for me than just an easy road! God has given me such a huge test, and through it, I have gained an amazing relationship with Him, My Father!! Every time that this life throws in another obstacle, I overcome it and think about how blessed I truly am! Whether it's struggles with finding a job for Orville, or battling for custody, God has given me the strength to get through it.
I know that God has given me this exact test/testimony so that I can reach out to other people and help encourage them through whatever it is that they are going through. I know that through my testimony, I have helped some women feel encouraged. Through my testimony, I am meeting new friends, new brothers and sisters in Christ!
God isn't trying to make me suffer, or make me feel discouraged. But this is all a part of His master plan, and I will go along with it and trust that He will work it all out in the end! He is such a faithful God!
Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.
Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.
He will always provide a straight path if you just trust in Him with ALL of your heart and do things to please Him!!
Philippians 3:12-14
Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
How awesome is that? God will always be there to help you move forward toward the goal of winning the ULTIMATE prize; an eternity with Him!!
Struggling through our everyday lives is sometimes hard, but when you look towards the goal, it gets a little easier. This is our temporary home, and God will get you through this life as long as you trust and have faith in Him!
Struggling through our everyday lives is sometimes hard, but when you look towards the goal, it gets a little easier. This is our temporary home, and God will get you through this life as long as you trust and have faith in Him!
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Quality vs. Quantity
So, I've been thinking a lot about Quality vs. Quantity lately. I feel like it holds true for many different situations, that Quality is way better than Quantity.
If you think about something simple like, writing a paper. You should make that paper the best it can be, (Quality) instead of making it as long as can be, (Quantity).
Or, something more complex, like spending time with Jesus, our Lord and Savior. Quality time with Him is key in gaining a relationship with him. If you spend a lot of time with him, but it isn't time devoted directly to him (quantity,) then you don't get the full effect of his mercy, glory and forgiveness.
Just recently, I was having an issue with the whole "WHY" thing again. Asking Jesus, "Why me?" "Why do I have to deal with all of this?"
I decided it was time for me to start spending QUALITY time with God. I had to start by setting aside time for me and God alone. No interruptions, no noisy kids, no husband..just God and I. Immediately, I felt the relationship that I had with God, change. In a GOOD way. I felt closer to Jesus, and stronger in my faith. I needed to quit giving God the short hand of my time, and start giving him my full attention.
It's been 3 weeks now since I started giving God my full attention every morning before all of the commotion began. Being able to sit down with my head in the Word, and my heart on what He had to say has been so beneficial to me. Spending that time with Him has given me strength and courage to deal with these struggles I've been going through. Reading God's word and talking to God alone has brought a clearness about my thoughts. It has made me see what I was missing.
All God wants is to have a meaningful relationship with YOU. ME. US. THEM. But you have to be willing to spend some QUALITY time with our Lord, Jesus Christ. You have to be willing to quit putting other things first. You have to be willing to trust something that is unseen. You have to be willing to have FAITH in what God says in the Bible. The Lord will show mercy upon you as soon as you start to show Him that you are willing to live according to His way.
Week after week, my prayers have been answered, because I have been so faithful to spending quality time with my God. He is so understanding, so loving, so GREAT! All you need to do is start spending QUALITY time with HIM!!
Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so, little ones to Him belong, they are weak, but He is strong. YES, JESUS LOVES ME!!
John 3:16-For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
If you think about something simple like, writing a paper. You should make that paper the best it can be, (Quality) instead of making it as long as can be, (Quantity).
Or, something more complex, like spending time with Jesus, our Lord and Savior. Quality time with Him is key in gaining a relationship with him. If you spend a lot of time with him, but it isn't time devoted directly to him (quantity,) then you don't get the full effect of his mercy, glory and forgiveness.
Just recently, I was having an issue with the whole "WHY" thing again. Asking Jesus, "Why me?" "Why do I have to deal with all of this?"
I decided it was time for me to start spending QUALITY time with God. I had to start by setting aside time for me and God alone. No interruptions, no noisy kids, no husband..just God and I. Immediately, I felt the relationship that I had with God, change. In a GOOD way. I felt closer to Jesus, and stronger in my faith. I needed to quit giving God the short hand of my time, and start giving him my full attention.
It's been 3 weeks now since I started giving God my full attention every morning before all of the commotion began. Being able to sit down with my head in the Word, and my heart on what He had to say has been so beneficial to me. Spending that time with Him has given me strength and courage to deal with these struggles I've been going through. Reading God's word and talking to God alone has brought a clearness about my thoughts. It has made me see what I was missing.
All God wants is to have a meaningful relationship with YOU. ME. US. THEM. But you have to be willing to spend some QUALITY time with our Lord, Jesus Christ. You have to be willing to quit putting other things first. You have to be willing to trust something that is unseen. You have to be willing to have FAITH in what God says in the Bible. The Lord will show mercy upon you as soon as you start to show Him that you are willing to live according to His way.
Week after week, my prayers have been answered, because I have been so faithful to spending quality time with my God. He is so understanding, so loving, so GREAT! All you need to do is start spending QUALITY time with HIM!!
Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so, little ones to Him belong, they are weak, but He is strong. YES, JESUS LOVES ME!!
John 3:16-For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Here it is!
You know, things weren't always the way they are today. If you ask someone who knew me "way back when," they would tell you that I am completely different now than I was then. My life has taken a total transformation in only a few short years.
My story began as the 5th daughter. Talk about spoiled!! I'll admit it, I was the baby, the princess, the "spoiled brat"! Growing up with 4 older sisters was awesome. They treated me like I was a little baby doll. They always did so many things with me and gave me anything that I wanted. And if they didn't, I would kick and scream until I got it!!
People would say that the Masser's were the "picture perfect" family. We did things together, and went to Church every Sunday. Some people would say that our family "walked the walk." We did the routine. We went through the motions. We were "HAPPY."
I will tell you, though, things weren't always "picture perfect." I remember argument after argument between my mom and dad that ended in divorce. At 11 years of age, divorce was hard. I didn't understand why my mom and dad didn't want to be together anymore. "Why in the world aren't we doing family things anymore? Why don't my mom and dad live together anymore?"
As a little girl, I remember spending a lot of time with my grandparents. Both of which are Christians. I remember having to go to church with them all of the time. This was something that I WANTED to do. I always had a desire to go to church and learn about God. But when I would go home to my mom's house, everything I learned would be left on the front porch. It was like living a double life.
Things started getting worse and worse. I was living with my mom, who was an active alcoholic. My sisters were off to college, and I was there, just left to deal with whether my mom would wake up the next day or not. My dad was always trying to make things better for me, but I didn't want anything to do with that. I just wanted to rebel and be just like my mom. I wanted to have fun and live the "good" life! I was always bouncing back in forth between houses. I would tell my dad that I wanted to stay with him, and then I would get mad and go back with my mom. Typical rebellion.
On one hand, I was being a good student, playing soccer and cheering, being a typical "good kid." On the other hand, I was always sneaking around, and doing things that I shouldn't be doing. Living my life as a lie. I would tell my parents one thing, and then be off doing another thing. Lying, smoking, drinking, dating an abusive guy..trying things that I never should have tried. ALL before I was even 16 years old. My life was spiraling out of control.
I still remember going to my grandparents houses and spending time with them during all of this. I remember always feeling guilty, feeling wrong, feeling "not right". But I know that they did not care about what I was doing in my free time, because they loved me no matter what! They were showing me the Love that GOD had for me. Showing me, that no matter what the sin, that I would be forgiven.
At 17, I found out I was pregnant. I was still a baby, and having a baby of my own. What in the world was I thinking? I remember saying, "Why me?" At that age, you don't think that anything like that will happen to you. You think you are invincible. WRONG!
Through the whole pregnancy, Ashtyn's dad was there. We were happy, and we were excited that we were going to be bringing a child into this world. I graduated high school a year early, and worked so that I could save money for my newborn! I remember finding myself at my Grandpa Masser's church a lot during my pregnancy..trying to find answers. I lost relationships with a lot of my family though. They didn't understand why I was staying with an abusive boyfriend and why i decided to have a baby with him. I remember telling them: "it doesn't matter what you say, I love him, and we are going to be a family"
Having Ashtyn was a turning point in my life. I was finally grasping that I needed to grow up. As soon as I had this baby, I remember thinking, "Wow, this is my responsibility now. This baby NEEDS me!" My motherly instincts were quick to set in. I always put Ashtyn's needs first. His dad, however, was not so quick to change. Still being abusive, and still doing things that you should not do as a parent. Needless to say, I decided I wanted to stay with him. I wanted to give him, "One more chance" We bought a house together. I was 18 years old, and bought a house. Something is wrong with that. Only a few months later, and I didn't live in that house anymore. I was at my limit. I couldn't take the abuse anymore, and I needed out.
I got on my feet pretty fast. I was an 18 year old single mom. I was working, going to college, and taking care of my precious Ashtyn. Life was hard. After a year, I decided it was best for me to move away. I decided that I needed to separate myself from the place where so many bad things happened. (Little did I know, that this was all the work of God..he had this all planned out)
I was so excited, I was moving! I found a daycare for Ashtyn, an apartment for us to live in, but, I was jobless. I was getting help, but I felt horrible, because I wasn't the one taking care of my baby. After a few months, I found a job at the Children's Hospital. I was working 3rd shift 7pm to 7am, going to school from 8 am to 5 pm and then taking care of Ashtyn after that. Let's just say, I was depressed. I was beyond unhappy. I had no idea why I decided to move away from my family. I felt Lost. Confused. Stupid. I just kept thinking to myself, "Why does God hate me SO much? Why can't I just catch a break?"
God was just preparing me for what he already had planned for me~!
In December of 2008, I got into a horrible car accident. Me and my little baby were driving on I-75 and lost control on an icy night. We spun across the median and were hit by a semi truck that was coming from the opposite direction. Ashtyn slept through the entire thing, and was completely unharmed. I had a banged up knee and a bruised nose. THAT'S IT!! Now, tell me that that wasn't a GOD THING!! My car was completely totaled and we walked away completely unharmed!
After my accident, I was ready to quit being stupid and start being even more responsible. I quit my job at the hospital, and focused solely on getting my degree so that I could support my son. Having this accident opened my eyes. Why was I just living life and acting like I was untouchable? I kept thinking, God wants me on this earth for a reason, and I need to find out what that is.
As the years went by, I never really thought about being "saved." I just knew that I was praying, and that was all that mattered. I was trying my hardest to be the best mom, student and provider. I was trying to be super woman! I had no idea what I was doing.
In May of 2009, my friend told me about this job that was on campus that didn't take much time, and I would be able to do my homework while there. So, I got a little 15 hour a week job on campus. There were always so many students coming in and out of this office. But I just couldn't keep my eyes of this one.. He was tall, dark and handsome..and I felt like I was in love!! For the next 7 months, I stalked this guy on facebook and twitter..I was determined to get him to notice me. I wanted him to like me! The thing was, he was a master's student and I was an undergraduate. I thought, "there is no way in this world he would even think about dating a person like me. I have a baby, I'm a single mom, he is HOT, he is WAY out of my league. " I figured I had no chance at all. Then, I noticed that he was a Christian, and I was hooked. I said to myself, "I will not back down, I will get him to notice me!"
I guess my tactics worked! On December 21, 2009, I was chatting with him on Facebook, and he was talking about eating cereal with Eggnog..eww! So, I was bold and said, why don't you ditch that nasty stuff and meet me at BW3's? Guess what...he said YES!! We met at BW3's and had a great dinner together (The 3 of us) It was so amazing. We immediately became inseparable. The next 2 weeks, we did EVERYTHING together.
January 2nd, Orville invited me to New Life Chapel..and that was the first time I had been to church in YEARS! I was nervous, I was scared, I was excited! It had been entirely too long since I had been in God's house. But I went. And, on that day, my life was forever changed! I prayed the sinners prayer..I asked for forgiveness, and asked Jesus to be in my life!
In March I got baptized, in May Orville asked me to marry him and we got pregnant. And then on August 28,2010 we got married! Life had never been better. We had our 2nd baby, Parker on January 16th and our family was complete.
I never thought that I would feel this type of happiness. This type of Joy. This type of LOVE. God has worked through my entire life to bring me to this point. Through all of my crazy hard times, God was making good in my life. He had people plant the seeds and He had people watering those seeds. I have bloomed into a wonderful Christian woman. God has put me through many rough spots, and I felt like I was never going to catch a break. But I was wrong.. so so wrong! God has this whole thing planned from beginning to end.
Romans 8:18 I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.
My life is a pure example of Romans 8:18. All of my sufferings weren't worth comparing to the glory that God revealed in me and continues to reveal in me! God has made my life completely different than it was before. And I am so grateful for that! Through constant prayers from people that loved me, and God's gracious heart, I was saved!
Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.
So, if you find yourself wondering, "why me?" or "am I ever going to be happy?" Just look to God, and have hope! Have hope that tomorrow will be better, and that all of this is just a part of God's plan. Look at my life story.. for years I wondered WHY..but we don't need to know why, we just need to trust that God's plan will be revealed with time!
God bless you!
Laura
My story began as the 5th daughter. Talk about spoiled!! I'll admit it, I was the baby, the princess, the "spoiled brat"! Growing up with 4 older sisters was awesome. They treated me like I was a little baby doll. They always did so many things with me and gave me anything that I wanted. And if they didn't, I would kick and scream until I got it!!
People would say that the Masser's were the "picture perfect" family. We did things together, and went to Church every Sunday. Some people would say that our family "walked the walk." We did the routine. We went through the motions. We were "HAPPY."
I will tell you, though, things weren't always "picture perfect." I remember argument after argument between my mom and dad that ended in divorce. At 11 years of age, divorce was hard. I didn't understand why my mom and dad didn't want to be together anymore. "Why in the world aren't we doing family things anymore? Why don't my mom and dad live together anymore?"
As a little girl, I remember spending a lot of time with my grandparents. Both of which are Christians. I remember having to go to church with them all of the time. This was something that I WANTED to do. I always had a desire to go to church and learn about God. But when I would go home to my mom's house, everything I learned would be left on the front porch. It was like living a double life.
Things started getting worse and worse. I was living with my mom, who was an active alcoholic. My sisters were off to college, and I was there, just left to deal with whether my mom would wake up the next day or not. My dad was always trying to make things better for me, but I didn't want anything to do with that. I just wanted to rebel and be just like my mom. I wanted to have fun and live the "good" life! I was always bouncing back in forth between houses. I would tell my dad that I wanted to stay with him, and then I would get mad and go back with my mom. Typical rebellion.
On one hand, I was being a good student, playing soccer and cheering, being a typical "good kid." On the other hand, I was always sneaking around, and doing things that I shouldn't be doing. Living my life as a lie. I would tell my parents one thing, and then be off doing another thing. Lying, smoking, drinking, dating an abusive guy..trying things that I never should have tried. ALL before I was even 16 years old. My life was spiraling out of control.
I still remember going to my grandparents houses and spending time with them during all of this. I remember always feeling guilty, feeling wrong, feeling "not right". But I know that they did not care about what I was doing in my free time, because they loved me no matter what! They were showing me the Love that GOD had for me. Showing me, that no matter what the sin, that I would be forgiven.
At 17, I found out I was pregnant. I was still a baby, and having a baby of my own. What in the world was I thinking? I remember saying, "Why me?" At that age, you don't think that anything like that will happen to you. You think you are invincible. WRONG!
Through the whole pregnancy, Ashtyn's dad was there. We were happy, and we were excited that we were going to be bringing a child into this world. I graduated high school a year early, and worked so that I could save money for my newborn! I remember finding myself at my Grandpa Masser's church a lot during my pregnancy..trying to find answers. I lost relationships with a lot of my family though. They didn't understand why I was staying with an abusive boyfriend and why i decided to have a baby with him. I remember telling them: "it doesn't matter what you say, I love him, and we are going to be a family"
Having Ashtyn was a turning point in my life. I was finally grasping that I needed to grow up. As soon as I had this baby, I remember thinking, "Wow, this is my responsibility now. This baby NEEDS me!" My motherly instincts were quick to set in. I always put Ashtyn's needs first. His dad, however, was not so quick to change. Still being abusive, and still doing things that you should not do as a parent. Needless to say, I decided I wanted to stay with him. I wanted to give him, "One more chance" We bought a house together. I was 18 years old, and bought a house. Something is wrong with that. Only a few months later, and I didn't live in that house anymore. I was at my limit. I couldn't take the abuse anymore, and I needed out.
I got on my feet pretty fast. I was an 18 year old single mom. I was working, going to college, and taking care of my precious Ashtyn. Life was hard. After a year, I decided it was best for me to move away. I decided that I needed to separate myself from the place where so many bad things happened. (Little did I know, that this was all the work of God..he had this all planned out)
I was so excited, I was moving! I found a daycare for Ashtyn, an apartment for us to live in, but, I was jobless. I was getting help, but I felt horrible, because I wasn't the one taking care of my baby. After a few months, I found a job at the Children's Hospital. I was working 3rd shift 7pm to 7am, going to school from 8 am to 5 pm and then taking care of Ashtyn after that. Let's just say, I was depressed. I was beyond unhappy. I had no idea why I decided to move away from my family. I felt Lost. Confused. Stupid. I just kept thinking to myself, "Why does God hate me SO much? Why can't I just catch a break?"
God was just preparing me for what he already had planned for me~!
In December of 2008, I got into a horrible car accident. Me and my little baby were driving on I-75 and lost control on an icy night. We spun across the median and were hit by a semi truck that was coming from the opposite direction. Ashtyn slept through the entire thing, and was completely unharmed. I had a banged up knee and a bruised nose. THAT'S IT!! Now, tell me that that wasn't a GOD THING!! My car was completely totaled and we walked away completely unharmed!
After my accident, I was ready to quit being stupid and start being even more responsible. I quit my job at the hospital, and focused solely on getting my degree so that I could support my son. Having this accident opened my eyes. Why was I just living life and acting like I was untouchable? I kept thinking, God wants me on this earth for a reason, and I need to find out what that is.
As the years went by, I never really thought about being "saved." I just knew that I was praying, and that was all that mattered. I was trying my hardest to be the best mom, student and provider. I was trying to be super woman! I had no idea what I was doing.
In May of 2009, my friend told me about this job that was on campus that didn't take much time, and I would be able to do my homework while there. So, I got a little 15 hour a week job on campus. There were always so many students coming in and out of this office. But I just couldn't keep my eyes of this one.. He was tall, dark and handsome..and I felt like I was in love!! For the next 7 months, I stalked this guy on facebook and twitter..I was determined to get him to notice me. I wanted him to like me! The thing was, he was a master's student and I was an undergraduate. I thought, "there is no way in this world he would even think about dating a person like me. I have a baby, I'm a single mom, he is HOT, he is WAY out of my league. " I figured I had no chance at all. Then, I noticed that he was a Christian, and I was hooked. I said to myself, "I will not back down, I will get him to notice me!"
I guess my tactics worked! On December 21, 2009, I was chatting with him on Facebook, and he was talking about eating cereal with Eggnog..eww! So, I was bold and said, why don't you ditch that nasty stuff and meet me at BW3's? Guess what...he said YES!! We met at BW3's and had a great dinner together (The 3 of us) It was so amazing. We immediately became inseparable. The next 2 weeks, we did EVERYTHING together.
January 2nd, Orville invited me to New Life Chapel..and that was the first time I had been to church in YEARS! I was nervous, I was scared, I was excited! It had been entirely too long since I had been in God's house. But I went. And, on that day, my life was forever changed! I prayed the sinners prayer..I asked for forgiveness, and asked Jesus to be in my life!
I WAS SAVED!!
In March I got baptized, in May Orville asked me to marry him and we got pregnant. And then on August 28,2010 we got married! Life had never been better. We had our 2nd baby, Parker on January 16th and our family was complete.
I never thought that I would feel this type of happiness. This type of Joy. This type of LOVE. God has worked through my entire life to bring me to this point. Through all of my crazy hard times, God was making good in my life. He had people plant the seeds and He had people watering those seeds. I have bloomed into a wonderful Christian woman. God has put me through many rough spots, and I felt like I was never going to catch a break. But I was wrong.. so so wrong! God has this whole thing planned from beginning to end.
Romans 8:18 I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.
My life is a pure example of Romans 8:18. All of my sufferings weren't worth comparing to the glory that God revealed in me and continues to reveal in me! God has made my life completely different than it was before. And I am so grateful for that! Through constant prayers from people that loved me, and God's gracious heart, I was saved!
Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.
So, if you find yourself wondering, "why me?" or "am I ever going to be happy?" Just look to God, and have hope! Have hope that tomorrow will be better, and that all of this is just a part of God's plan. Look at my life story.. for years I wondered WHY..but we don't need to know why, we just need to trust that God's plan will be revealed with time!
God bless you!
Laura
Friday, September 23, 2011
Hey There!
If you are here, that probably means you want to know why I started this blog. Really, I started it because I wanted to get away from Facebook, and I really want to share MY STORY! (Hence the name of this blog :) ) I feel like people need to know my story, because it is extremely amazing to see what God can do in just one person's life! Maybe, through my blog, I can reach people..people that are feeling lost! Or, this could be for someone who needs encouragement! Whatever it is, I know that God is going to be my main focus!
Have a blessed day!
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